101. Make up your own language and use it when ever possible. When he asks you what language that is, tell him and I quote
    "It's the language of the forien land.
102. Every time he gets mad and starts to yell, start "ooohing" and "aaaahing" like the "Jerry Springer" audience.
103. When he enters, applaud him, then give him a standing ovation.  Continue that every time he enters the room untill he yells
    at you then do #102.
104. Start mumbling to yourself these words: "Oh, what am I going to do, I'm going to die, he's going to kill me."  But don't
    look worried or sound iteither.
105. Start doing something to make him ask "What are you doing?" Then tell him this "Nothing, I'm doing absolutly nothing, just
    like my life, my life is nothing" and so on and so for the untill he yells at you then do #102.
106. Start playing a song, and when you get to the ned, start over from the begining. Do that several times until he yells at you,
    then do #102.
107. Start talking to him about something, but don't be specific.
     Example- "Hey do you like it?" When he asks what "it" is, say "That, do you like that?"
108. If you can, play the song backwards.
109. Make statues out of the music stands.
110. Stare at the ceiling. Don't say anything just stare.
111. See who can make the most noise.
112. When he asks you to carry large and heavy objects down stairs, be sure to drop it.
113. Be suspicously good in class, then on the last day, be the worst you can be.
114. When asked to help carry heavy objects down stairs with the teacher, let go so he's the only one holding it. 115. Start "playing" with drums and things when he's there and see how long it takes him to notice.
116. Ask if he would like to play chess in class.
117. The minute he lets you into the aditoriu, start running around, and forget about your origanal purpose for being there.
118. Start crying for no reason.
119. Think there's a hidden bomb in the school and act hysterical and say it will go off when the launch bell rings.
120. Change all the clocks in his room to the time you go to unch when he leaves for a long period of time, and run out the
    door cheering when he enters.
121. Laugh excesivaly about nothing.
122. When he's playing a song on the piano, wave either your hands or a lighter in the air.
123. Start to dance according to how he plays the piano.
124. Start clapping every time he accomplishes something (No matter what it is.)
125. Act like you fell asleep and start mumbling these words: "Must kill band teacher, KILL KILL KILL, Must kill band
    teacher DIE DIE DIE".
126. Steal his drums and use them and use them to slide down a hill.
127. Act like you had a heart attack when he asks you to play a test and see if he believes you.
128. Push all the buttons in his class.
129. Run around the room making strange noises.
130. When the teacher plays a song, play it but delay it by one beat.
131. Play volleyball with something he own around expensive equipment.
132. Sit and star at him the whole time.
133. Run in one door and out the other repeatedly.
134. Play tag when you're supposed to be quiet.
135. When he is playing a song, yawn on the first beat of every measure.
136. Lay on the floor and sleep all hour.
137. Start whistling the "Smurfs" song every dat you enter.
138. When you and a friend are playing a duet, play two diffrent songs, even if they aren't ment for a duet.
139. Sing the "Scooby Doo" song but change the words to something bad about the band teacher.
140. Start saying words aloud in the class in the form of a poem.  Start with these: I, Car, Sam, Dirt, Ice, Window......
141. Speak with a mix of French, Spanish, and German when takling to him.
142. Try not to step on the floor. Try to use chairs, music stands, instrument cases, and even music books. When he asks you
    what you're doing, yell at him untill he regrets his career choice.
143. Hold each note for longer that you're supposed to.
144. Stand up and yell something obvious, like it's some big secret you've been holding in for  several years. Example: "My hair
    is brown!"
145. Bring the wrong music book to school, and when he tells the class to open their books and play a song, open your
    book to that page and play what's on there.
146. Go through diffrent emotions durring the hour, even if you feel them or not. Be sure to show them.
147. When ever possible, refer to #102
148.  "Accidentaly" trip and say you'll sue him.
149. After every sentence, use the word "woman." Example: "Can you help me with something woman?"
150. When he asks you to do something, say "Yes mama."
151. When you walk into class, start sniffing around like theres a bad oder, when the teacher comes near you, act like he has
    really bad B.O., but don't tell him.
152. Anounce to the class the time every minute.
153. Start saying a poem featuring these words; Ominous, cloud, Slarty, denizens filial, quizzical, and surreptitiously.
154. Open the piano and pull the strings.
155. Paint all the keys on the piano black.
156. When everyone is listening to music, FART!
157. Put super glue on the piano keys.
158. On the first day start drawing pictures, and when he asks you what you're doing, tell him you thought you were in art
    class.
159. Start calling him things in Spanish and hope he doesn't know the language.
160. Talk in a monotone voice untill the last day of school.
161. On the first day of schol, get up infront of the class and act like you're a math teacher teaching math.
162. Call him by a compleatly different name. Example: "Mr. Hamlet"
163. After he gets done explaining something, act like you have no clue as to what he said.
164. Sing everything you say. When he asks you what you're doing, do #102.
165. Come into class with Christmas lights on your backpack and instrument case, and on your instrument. Make sure the can
    be light with out the use of an outlet.
166. Develope a severe Irish accent, then change your name to "Paty O'Furniture".
167. Always talk about "The Forien Land" mentioned in #101.
168. Bring lawn ornaments and set them up around the room.
169. Bring a thesaurus to school, and when ever you talk to him, originate sentences constructed of wording found there-in.
170. Bring a Spanish-to-English dictionary to school,and when ever you say something in English, look in your dictionary for
    those words, and act like you said it in Spanish, but are trying to translate it to English.
171. Talk to him like he's five.
172. Speak in haiku form, untill he wants to slap you, Go to 1-0-2.
173. If you have the time, make everything you say rhymes.
174. Start to write a song consisting of lines from other songs. But make sure it doesn't make sence. Ask the teacher if you can
    recite it in front of the class on the last day. Try to give it a lot of hype, so when you read it, it's like a big thing and every one
    is waiting for you to stand in front of the class and read it. Then, you know what? I have no clue as to where I'm going with
    this.
175. Make sure every thing you say is a lie.
176. Say things in Spanish that dont really apply to anything. Example: No hablar en el cubo, por favor.
    --Translation--:No talking in the trash canplease.
177. After every {Sentence} you say, pick a word out of it and state its defenition.
    Example: SENTENCE--
        1A) A decisoin or judgment, as of a court.
        2A) A word or group of words that states, asks, commands, or exclaimessomething.
178. Whenever possible, use the word "unsanlyness".
179.  -----MISSING-----
180. Speak to him fast and every once and a while, change a word so he thinks he's going crazy.
181. Put a four inch nail on the seat of the piano, and hope he doesn't see it.
182. Play your instrument as bad a syou can to make him deaf.
183. Rewire the light switch to electricute him every time he turns on the light.
184. Look at your watch of ten, then look at the clock. Make him wonder why your doing it, when  he asks, tell him that
    you're not doing anything.
185. Keep a journal of the things you've done to annoy him. When he asks ou to turn in an  assignment, turn in the journal, then
    run for your life.
186. If he was single and got married, ask him what his neew last name is.
187. Condem him to heck.
188. Tell him he's a total pig, even if his room is spotless.
189. Tell him that when he was born his mom said, "What a treasure." and his dad said, "Yeah,  let's go bury it."
190. Tell him that he's so fat, it takes two trains and a bus just to get to his good side.
191. Tell him that he's so fat that the last time he saw 90210 was on the scale.
192. Tell him that he's so stupid, that he sold his car for gas money.
193. If you can, throw music stands through the windows of the class room.
194. If you can, lock him out of his room.
195. Find something you can sue him for.
196. Tear paper into tiny pieces and leave them on the floor.
197. Take an instrument of his and run through the halls until he catches you.  If he chases  you, do #'s 190 & 191.
198. Put your pen in your mouth like a cigarette.
199. Claim that you're the devil.
200. Go home, fill an urn with ashes from your fireplace. Take the urn to school and scater the  ashes around the band
    room. When he asks you what you're doing, say the following, "I'm giving my aunt Elna a final resting place." When he asks you if the ashes are your aunts, say no.